What’s the buzz? The juice? Hot buttons, trends, rumors, gossip? I was debriefing an IR consultant friend just returned from a whirlwind tour round the financial capitals of North America.
‘Nothing,’ he replied, with that drawn out first syllable and rising tone on the second that only whiny American teenagers and my consultant friend can pull off. ‘It’s the most boring time in the world.’
But this is such an exciting time to be alive! I exhorted. We’re on the eve of the third millennium. The human race is smarter, faster, richer, better looking than ever before. The rip-roaring financial markets are at the very center of it all, and at the very center of the markets stands the investor relations officer. What about at your agency, with all those high-flying Fortune 100 and dot-com clients? It must be something of a nerve-center for all kinds of masters-of-the-universe stuff every single day.
‘Nah. This place is collecting dust,’ he drawled. ‘What’s new? Volatility isn’t new. The internet isn’t new. Chat rooms aren’t new. Nothing’s new.’
Last year, he went on, everyone was talking about teleconferences and selective disclosure, getting all excited about the issues. Today, who cares? Okay, so the markets are going through upheaval – longer trading hours, demutualization. ‘But we’ve seen it all before.’
Should I recommend he take a long vacation and pack a big bottle of Prozac? Or should I get my own head checked? For undoubtedly, it all comes down to perception, to what’s in your head. Ever noticed that when you’re shopping for something, say a new car or a blender, suddenly you see blenders everywhere? You can identify makes and models, pros and cons. All you can think about is blenders. Once my dad visited New York and was enamored by those metal bars locked on the steering wheels of parked cars. Times Square, the Museum of Modern Art, Central Park – it all bounced right off him. All he saw were the different kinds of ‘clubs’ in every car on the street, and he was interested only in going to hardware stores to shop for one.
The really successful people in any pursuit, be it investor relations or amassing billions as the CEO of a company, are those who can channel that obsessive energy into business. It fills their days completely, they lie awake at night and think about it. They apply the same single-minded energy to their job as my dad does to buying a ‘club’.
So maybe all my consultant friend needs is a new blender. Or rather, to channel that blender-buying energy back into his job. We’d all prefer that to his solution: ‘If only a crash would come soon. Then it won’t be so boring.’
