Given the phenomenal success of the stock markets, and the public’s resulting fascination with investing, what will the future bring in terms of television? Currently, Wall Street is almost solely represented through financial news programs and talk shows aimed at sophisticated investors. Programming for the masses seems like the next logical step. But what will it look like?
Daytime talk shows: current
There are two types of talk shows on television today: soft and hard. The soft consist of moderately refined, hypnotically banal programs covering issues of personal hygiene and grooming, and family and romantic relationships. The hard include completely reprehensible, morally bankrupt programs also covering issues of personal hygiene and grooming (see special episodes on cross dressing and sex-change operations), as well as family and romantic relationships (see the recent episode, ‘My husband slept with my sister’, on Ricki Lake).
Daytime talk shows: proposed
This format is the easiest to imagine, given that financial talk shows already exist. Broadening them to appear to the wider viewing public should be a cinch. On the daytime talk show soft side, a celebrity could hold forth along with financial guests. Barbara Streisand, who is rumored to be addicted to internet IPOs, could sit on a giant purple velvet couch, a wall of tickers behind her, and discuss the market’s direction with a revolving panel of talking heads and an occasional fellow movie star.
For the hardcore shows, fund managers and analysts could slug it out over the perceived state of the markets, belittle each other’s investment strategy, and call into question the integrity of their colleagues. Provoked by a confrontational host, the arguments would ideally deteriorate into personal attacks, and possibly blows. The downside is that audiences may demand a more confessional format, and it is unlikely that guests would admit to deviant behavior on camera unless they could remain anonymous.
Late night talk shows: proposed
See daytime talk show/soft, but remove Streisand from her purple couch and replace with Bill Murray.
Game shows: current
A sea change in game shows is currently underway, possibly linked to the growth of state lotteries and declining intelligence among the population as a whole. In the US, the second highest-rated television show is the ABC network’s Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, which has lots of heart-thumping music, spotlights, and an obvious grand prize. Fox is trying to play catch up to the show’s success, launching its own Greed. A show based on making money in the stock market seems like a sure-fire winner for the networks.
Game shows: proposed:
Day trading. It already is a game show, just without cameras and the audience. Throw a couple of contestants in front of some oversized terminals and watch them go.
Sitcoms: current
Sitcoms are a varied lot, though one of the most successful shows, Seinfeld, which claimed to be a show about nothing, holds out the most hope for a financial Hee-Haw. Many of the other top shows today are geared toward younger audiences, but since a growing number of fund managers have only recently reached the age of consent, this trend also bodes well for their foray into the medium.
Sitcoms: proposed
A fish-out-of-water tale about an analyst with absolutely no background in finance, no specific interest in the subject, and no aptitude for conducting research. Surprisingly, he (or maybe she – wonder what Felicity will do after college?) does phenomenally well, makes a fortune, and, much to her dismay, becomes a leading expert on the markets. The downside is that the show may hit too close to home for a number of investment professionals and prompt a flurry of lawsuits by individuals who believe they’re the model for the show.
Dramas: current
Today’s formula is heavy dramatization and glorification. The wildly popular emergency room drama ER depicts a group of attractive doctors battling human catastrophe on a scale never before seen in a major metropolitan area. Shows also tend to be gritty and down to earth, as with Coronation Street and Eastenders in the UK, and The Practice and NYPD Blue in the US. These shows are full of sort of real people doing rather unreal things in a somber setting.
Dramas: proposed
The above formula should ostensibly work for any profession, with the possible exception of postal workers. Simply create a show centered on investment bankers or portfolio managers, throw in some terrorist bombings, kidnappings, and earthquakes, put it in a prime time slot and add commercials.
Public television: current and proposed
Actually, no proposal here. Unfortunately, the masses don’t watch public television, at least in the US. Also, the concept of a bunch of fund managers running around in tights as part of some financially oriented ballet is nauseating. Peter Lynch guiding us through the jungles of Borneo to watch the mating habits of wild boars isn’t much better.
