A management communications index (survey) has unearthed the fact that 60 percent of senior management are annoyed by buzzwords, those important sounding words or phrases that do more to confuse than enlighten. The sixth annual Aziz Management Communications Index was produced by Aziz Corporation, a UK-headquartered spoken communications consultancy.
The key learnings (results) of this climate-sensing (survey) are that ‘let’s touch base’ is the most loathed buzz phrase, annoying 28 percent of executives. Next up is ‘no brainer’ with 19 percent, followed by ‘synergy’ with 16 percent, ‘outside the box’ with 14 percent, ‘let’s take this offline’ and ‘hardball’, both with 6 percent.
Khalid Aziz, chairman of the Aziz Corporation, comments, ‘All of us are guilty of using the occasional buzzword. They are harmless in small doses, but when they become commonplace and define our vocabulary then that should be a cause to worry. The fact that a term is brief and snappy, and rolls off the tongue easily, can convince us that we know what we’re talking about. It’s dangerous when buzzwords are used as a substitute for thought.’
It seems that task-saturated (busy) directors are tiring of buzzwords’ ability to distort and confuse, complaining they lack functionality (are useless). Perhaps this taking-the-pulse-of-workplace-attitudes index (survey) will result in management deciding that a return to clarity and transparency is best practice (a good idea). But it’s more likely a case of déjà moo (bull again).
Can’t beat ’em, join ’em
The only advantage of these annoying little terms is that you can confuse people so much, they won’t know what you’re saying. This means that you can tell people something that they don’t want to hear, without them even realizing.
So next time you have some below-par data (bad news) to share, just sprinkle a little buzz over your words. By the time your audience has understood what you mean, you’ll be out the door!
Join the buzzword bonanza
‘I conducted a little bit of percussive maintenance’ (I hit my computer)
‘Then I tried some six-inch calibration’ (Then I picked it up and dropped it)
‘I’m currently experiencing phonesia’ (Who have I just phoned?)
‘I’m suffering from destinesia’ (Why am I here?)
‘We feel you have some personal inertia issues’ (You’re lazy)
‘I’m going to hand this hairball project over to you’ (Here’s a huge tangled mess)
‘I’ve just committed an information leakage’ (Oops)
‘There was an attention rupture during the meeting’ (I wasn’t listening)
‘There was a negative success outcome’ (We messed up)
‘The company is currently experiencing a period of negative growth’ (We’re going down)
‘We’re scheduling you to undertake our realignment program’ (You’re fired)
‘We’re giving you a chance to take advantage of outside opportunities’ (You’re fired again)
‘The company is shortening the path to profitability’ (You’re still fired)
‘Thanks for making my day a salmon day’ (Thanks for making me swim upstream all day only to get screwed in the end)
