Few executives are as mobile as IROs, so no doubt many of you are satisfied to spend some of the summer at home. For some, this is the time to get reacquainted with small children and pets, to sift through photos of sell-side conferences and file them in leather-bound volumes.
I have never really seen the advantages of such homeliness but this summer, on doctor’s advice, I’ve been grounded – nothing serious, just an amoeba picked up either in some third world capital or maybe at an IR magazine conference. No flying about, no exotic holidays. I find myself seeking summer relief close to home. Very close.
This has actually been a fortuitous turn of events. Since moving to Los Angeles almost four years ago I have not been ‘in town’ for 30 consecutive days. And I have moved apartments five times.
My newest pad is a Spanish 1920s-style number, former home to a succession of Hollywood hopefuls. Typically I would be barely unpacked. But now my lifetime collection of IR magazines are safely filed in fireproof cabinets, I’m geared up for housebound adventure.
Housebound adventure? Well, yes. You don’t have to travel far for stimulation. You can find excitement close to home. Here’s how:
1. Explore
From the tropical mold forest behind the fridge to the arctic recesses of the freezer to Dust Bunny Village beneath the bed – if it’s wildlife you’re after, an entire ecosystem awaits you. Ever see a dust mite? Get out the magnifying glass and check out your pillow stuffing. You’ll be amazed!
2. Be neighbourly
Never mind that our governments can’t seem to do it effectively. In fact, with daily color codes – orange to yellow to orange again – and those WMDs still at large, there’s never been a better time to get to know your neighbors. Have you met the quiet guy who has moved into the apartment beneath you?
3. Go to meetings
We know it’s been a while because we keep lists. But there’s no better place to feel good about yourself than in an environment where those wanting to sell something outnumber those in the market to buy by ten to one. Let yourself be fought over. And with all the creativity being sucked out of the profession by lawyers, what better place to find commiseration than among fellow sufferers? Just stand up and say, ‘My name is such and such and I am a recovering IRO.’
4. Barbecue
It’s time for a little backlash against the evil white men in suits seeking to squeeze poor Martha Stewart. So she’s a bit of tyrant; compared to Bernie Ebbers she’s a saint. It’s time to show our support. After all, Martha has provided us with good quality, inexpensive products that help to make our lives not only a smidge better, but also momentarily magical. So throw a backyard bash for those new neighbors. And remember, a themeless party is simply dull. Stripes and summer just seem to go together. And that’s a good thing.
5. Read
There’s no more healthy and rewarding escape than a good book. It’s a very Harry summer so indulge yourself in a trip to Hogwarts. For bedtime reading, I suggest The Complete Sarbanes-Oxley, a collection of professional essays, lively commentary and the full text of the legislation. Yawn!
6. Indulge your body
Don’t go to a spa to unwind. Use creativity, courage and some plastic wrap to moisturize yourself in nutrient-rich vitamins and minerals in your own bathtub. An oatmeal mask is – after all – just oatmeal slopped on the face. And use your own cucumber slices over the dark circles shareholders have given you.
7. Return calls
A novel concept for many IROs, but with telecoms in steep decline, why not do your bit to put the trend in reverse? Actually, you can get great deals on dials, so there’s no excuse for letting your relationships with peers, pals and personal counselors lapse. I’ve put a message on my machine: ‘I am in town until September 5. If I don’t return your call, it’s a conscious decision.’ This ought to keep me accountable.
Lagniappe*: Summer reading list
Armchair travel:
Dinner with Persephone: Travels in Greece by Patricia Storace
No cottage share this summer:
Philistines at the Hedgerow by Steven Gaines
Romance junkies looking for a cure:
Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody
Art & murder:
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Memoirs:
Churchill at War 1940-45 by Lord Moran
Future tripping:
Jennifer Government: A Novel by Max Barry
*Lagniappe: A French Creole word that means ‘a little extra’
