Dear Blabby,
Please help. For a number of years now, my husband has been neglecting me. He works late and when he finally comes home pays me little attention. I’m still an attractive woman with a lot to offer but he doesn’t seem to notice me. Our love life is almost non-existent and we don’t talk anymore.
What should I do?
Susan, 41
Blabby says:
You poor child. My advice is look to the world of investor relations for guidance. I find there’s little in life that can’t be resolved with the central tenets of IR. Firstly, dear, you’ve not been marketing yourself properly. You urgently need to raise awareness among your target audience, especially with the raft of new alternatives coming to market and with middle-aged housewives in a bearish slump. Try a little re-branding – perhaps a new line of underwear or a less whiny tone of voice. And keep him in the loop. Regular news releases help: ‘It’s my birthday tomorrow’ on a post-it note stuck to the fridge can really raise your profile, as well as your gift quota. But be wary of overkill: bombarding his office with hourly faxes detailing recent purchases will act, quite literally, as a turn-off. Oh, and you really should have set up a web site by now. I find that detailed information and insightful photos of a spouse blazoned across the net make most people sit up and take notice (although don’t ask me about ‘hits’ and ‘stickiness’ – that’ll need a marriage guidance counselor).
Dear Blabby,
I’ve been married for several years now and would really like to start a family. My wife isn’t so keen. She’s worried that we can’t afford a child. How can I persuade her that it’s a good idea?
Samuel, 29
Blabby says:
Again, Sam, draw on best practice investor relations. It’s a question of redoubling your communications efforts and carefully explaining the strategic benefits. Essentially, you need to demonstrate that while your wife may lose earnings in the short term, an offspring is a valuable long-term investment. It can provide emotional dividends of love, pride and fulfillment, and – more importantly – the possibility, if nurtured properly, of financial support in your twilight years. Take her along to a site visit at a nursery (but plan it properly – turning up at potty time isn’t going to impress her; and besides, an unannounced trip to a nursery can lead to arrests). And make your communications personal; full-scale Powerpoint presentations in front of a gaggle of cooing relatives are all very well but have you considered a traditional one-on-one meeting with your wife? I’d recommend two or more every year. Spouses – like analysts and institutional portfolio managers – can be touchy creatures, believing that ‘big issues’ such as new acquisitions merit a personal approach and an opportunity for Q&A.
Dear Blabby,
My fiance and I are due to wed later this year. We’re both fairly principled people and don’t believe in living together before marriage so I’m rather nervous, especially as he seems to have made some worrying assumptions about the division of household chores, his future social life and the regularity of our bedroom activities. I love him very much and don’t want to upset him.
Should I just keep quiet?
Felicity, 25
Blabby says:
Oh dear. Have you learned nothing from the teachings of IR? New marital partners are like investors: they don’t like to be shocked. It’s up to you, therefore, to carefully manage expectations on this one. Bite the bullet and pre-announce to avoid surprise. Yes, you’re going to go down in his estimation – he may even consider dumping you from his portfolio, as it were – but better to take the hit now and maintain credibility with him (and the wider male community) than end up with a really messy situation after the event. Best practice IR suggests the issue of a release early on with follow-up either individually or via conference call. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Send him an e-mail outlining your ‘No more than twice a week’ policy then phone him at work to explain – either individually or, if he’s on the boardroom speaker-phone, via inadvertent conference call.
Dear Blabby,
I work as a corporate communications manager in a mid-cap construction company. As an unfashionable company languishing in an unfashionable sector, we’re struggling to keep hold of our current investors, let alone attract new ones. Our interim results were unexpectedly poor and we’ve just dropped out of our index. How can we sell our story? Should we think about using new media? How can we get back on the analysts’ radar?
Humphrey, 50
Blabby says:
No idea, dear. Sorry.
Blabby Grasselman, Investor Relations magazine’s new agony aunt, welcomes your letters and is happy to offer advice on any IR problem or domestic worry
